movie review : Aisha.

Cast : Abhay deol, Sonam Kapor, Amrita Puri, Cyrus Sahukar.





Director : Rajshir Ojha.




Sonam "dumb" Kapoor plays Aisha a south-Delhi's rich dad's extremely spoilt child. Sonam shops & shops & shops, wears designer short clothes, designer shoes, dances, talks non-sense, goes to polo matches, does some gardening when she's home, feeds dogs at Animal right centre(ARC), bakes cakes, drives a Volkswagen, goes on camping trips, plays a match-maker, thinks about love the entire time. That's it. That's the whole story of the movie . Oh, yes, I forgot, she also smiles foolishly throughout the film.





There was one more character in the film.. I don't quite remember him.. er.. er.. some lanky fellow, ah, yes.. Abhay Deol. What a waste of talent, son. I was quite a fan f your's after Dev D.






P.S. DO NOT WATCH.

movie review : Salt.

Cast : Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber




Director : Phillip Noyce




If you read the script of this film before you watch the movie you'll imagine Tom cruise & no one else doing it. Unfortunately, even Tom imagined himself doing this film & refused it later saying it was "Mission Impossible" kinda film. Bad decision, Tom.



Once Tom's refused it try to imagine someone else for the script.. umm.. may be a woman.. um.. umm.. Jo.. Jolie.. Angelina Jolie, ah yes. That's the only name that comes to mind. And rightly so.




Jolie plays, Evelyn Salt, a CIA agent who's accused f being a Russian spy.



The plot f the film is nuthin great. In fact it's worthy f a ridicule. The only thing that works for Salt is that the lead is a woman and a sexy one at that. The action scenes are too good. Your heart will skip a beat when you see Jolie jumping off the roof-tops f vehicles on a busy free-way. Okay, these kinda action sequences you've seen before but not by a woman, you see. Jolie brings mysteriousness into her character. The film is fast-paced which makes you overlook the holes in the script.




It turns out that Cruise must think twice before rejecting (read : Salt) or accepting (read: Knight and Day) a film. Tym to get a new advisor, eh son?





P.S. worth a watch for Jolie, for action or jus find a reason and go..

movie review : The Expendables.

Cast : Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet li, Mickey Rourke



Direction : Sylvester Stallone.



When thousands f bullets are fired, why the bloody hell they don't hit the heroes?




Sly could've made the movie in a much better way yet he stuck to the pointless fights scenes, explosions, car chases & blowing up a entire South-American place just to a take a dictator down because he misbehaved with a girl who was 50yrs younger than him. It looked like a 80's action film.




Jason Statham was good as he always is. Mickey Rourke was terrible. Jet li should have been used more.




The action sequences shown in the film were not original. The story was baseless.




Sly, i'hv to ask you one thing -- man, doesn't it hurt when u get tattooed?



P.S. go if you're a action fan.

Movie review: The Wrestler.

Cast : Mickey Rourke, Marisa Tomei, Evan Rachel Wood.






Director: Darren Aronofsky




To tell you the truth, I never liked watching wrestling because I always knew it was fake & it was meant to entertain void minds. I watched this movie on a recommendation & I'm glad I did.





The wrestler is a story of a professional wrestler, a husband, a father & a loner.





Mickey(randy) once a famous pro-wrestler is, now, after 20yrs a loner who has trouble paying his rent & with that he has health concerns too. Randy takes steroids and it results in a heart-attack after a match & the doc advises him not to take that stuff anymore & also quit his wrestling career as he feels his heart wont cope up with him.





Randy has a crush on a most-wanted stripper of a club that he frequently visits named Cassidy & he looks up to her for affection and care. Randy also has a daughter on whom he had walked out several years ago due to his career. Now, that Randy is lonely he visits his daughter & tells her that he had an heart-attack but she is furious with him & does not care for him now for he walked outta her life when she needed him the most. But later on, she succumbs & loves her father back.
The father-daughter relationship shown in the film is beautiful.








There a couple of very good scenes in the film lyk the wrestling match in which staple-guns were used is breath-taking & the scene in the final parts of the movie where Randy walks out furiously off the store where he works & calls his manager & tells him that he would lyk to take up wrestling again.








P.S. Worth a watch. Never really expected a big guy to act so well. Rated R.

movie review : Knight and Day.

Cast: Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz




Director: James Mangold




Tom cruise & Cameron Diaz -- what more could a director ask for. Both of 'em are still charming as were in Vanilla Sky.



Cruise plays a CIA agent, Roy Miller & Diaz play a regular girl, June who mixes herself in Cruise's affairs. Unnecessarily. The film lacks chemistry & this has made it very difficult to understand as to why Diaz accompanies Cruise to all the dangerous locations. Speaking f the locations , they're beautiful.



Although the films lacks chemistry between it's lead actors it makes up with the action sequences. My personal favorite is the one in which Cruise jumps from one car top to another on the freeway. Cruise still manages to keep the audiences glued to their seats when it comes to action sequence. However, he should seriously rethink before opting for Romantic-thriller kinda films. Not his cup-f-tea, I feel.






Cruise disappoints. Diaz disappoints. The film disappoints.







P.S. It's very important not to waste a talent lyk Tom Cruise's.

movie review : Milenge Milenge

Cast : Kareena Kapoor, Shahid Kapoor, Delnaaz Paul, Satish Shah, Satish Kaushik, Aarti Chhabaria.




Director : Satish Kaushik



Shahid to Kareena :


" Priya, mujhe sirf 5 min do. Priya, mein janta hun ki maine tumhe dhuk diya hai. Mujhetumhari dairy padne ka koi haq nahi tha. Par us raat jab guards se bachne k liye meintumhare kamremein aaya tab meri nazar tum par paddi aur mein tumhe dhekta hi rehgaya. Isilye maine wahisab kiya jiss se tumhe mein hi woh ladka hun jiski tumhe talashthi. But believe me Priya, mainesab isliye nahi kiya kyuki mein tumhara mazak udanachahta tha par isiliye kiya kyuki.. I love you, Priya. Please give me one chance, Priya."




Karrena to Shahid : "ho gaye 5 min?"



(Kareena walks out)




Shahid to Kareena : "Priya, mujhe poora yakeen hai ki taqdeer humko milana chahti hai."




Kareena : "Taxiiiiiii.. "





Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.. That is what happened in their real lyf as well, isn't it?





At the start f the movie :



(a song plays in the background) -- shez full f lyf, full f style.. uska masum sa chehra..




Kareena helps 2 girls to cross the road & shez sees a man smoking, goes upto him, removes the cigarette from his mouth & throws it away. Dude, I would have slapped her.





Kareena wants to find her Mr. Right. She thinks about this the whole day. Duh, what a loser. A tarot card reader (Kiron Kher) tells her that she will find her man on a beach in a foreign land at 7: am & he will be wearing clothes consisting f 7 different colors (man, I almost fell down laufin here) & next scene is Shahid getting up from his bed late in the morning.





Following the tarot card reader's prediction Kareena gets smitten by Shahid but later finds that he's a liar, a smoker & drinker too. So, leaves him & shifts base to Mumbai from Dehli. Shahid goes to US for 3 years comes back & still can't forget Kareena & vice versa. Typical Bollywood film, you see.






Karrena is getting married to some Jatin unwillingly may be because she feels her clock is ticking or so & Shahid is getting married to Sophia(Aarti Chhabaria) may be because he has nothing else to do.





While parting in the first scene mentioned, Kareena makes Shahid write his name & no on a 50rupee note & she writes her name & no on a book she buys using that 50rupee note & then sells it at a old book store. She says that if if they are really supposed to be together, she will get back that 50 rupee note & Shahid will find that book, somehow. How Dumb!






So, when both are supposed to get married in a day or two, Kareena finds that 50rupee note & Shahid that book. Voila!






Kareena barges into Shahid's marriage ceremony & they get married there and then. Wow!
Cudn't get more dumber than this, I must say.






This movie was supposed to release on 23rd Dec, 2005 but due to some financial problems, Kareena-Shahid break-up, Tsunami in the Indian Ocean they stalled the release of the film. Man, you should have never made the film. That would have saved you a lot f money & embarrassment as well.





The acting is worst throughout the film. There's absolutely no chemistry between Shahid & kareena. Delnaz Paul is as stupid as she is fat.





P.S. agar tumhe tym nahi 'mila' ye movie dhekne toh achha hoga..

movie review : I hate Love Stories.

Cast : Imran Khan, Sonam Kapoor





Director : Punit Malhotra




Sonam is a die-hard movie buff, a total filmy. Imran hates love stories. Sonam hates Imran. Imran starts liking Sonam. Sonam starts liking Imran. Now, they are a couple. Like we din't noe that this would happen. Duh!






Sonam Kapoor can't act. Period. Sonam looks so dumb throughout the film. She does this "non-sense" in front f the camera which she considers acting jus lyk her father does who is in a different world since Slumdog Millionaire. Her granny thinks she deserves an oscar for this film. Well, granny, why don't you just put a lid on it.





Imran Khan, like this one, always manages to choose dumb roles.





The fat guy from the Sprite add was good, though.





P.S. If you lyk this film then it's tym to see a doc.